I really hate loudmouths

Tonight, our church had a christmas concert, with full choir and orchestra. I love to go each year. Everyone dresses up, they put the christmas lights all around the church, and have the mist machine going, it's just very christmasy. So tonight, there are more people than usual that show up. I make sure to get there early, so we can get decent seats. As the church starts to fill, they make continuous announcements asking everyone to move to the right, so people can find a place to sit. Well the low-life's behind me, there are three of them stretched across one large pew "saving seats" for someone who is "on their way." I can see saving a seat if someone is going to be there in five minutes or less, but not for someone that they havent' even left their house yet. I know this to be true, because loudmouth number one was talking to whoever it was on the phone, "girl you better leave, you're gonna be late." At least 30 people minimum asked to sit there, but were denied, because of the whole saving seats issue, which just burns me to begin with. During this whole time, the music pastor is talking, and the loudmouths talk even louder to make sure they talk over the speaker system. By the time the musical started, there are over 100 people left standing, but yet, the seatsavers behind me refuse to let any of these people standing have the seats. And they continue talking, and talking, and then talking louder. As the music went louder, so did they. After the third song, I turned around and asked them in as polite a voice as I can muster as a pissed off native new yorker, "are you going to talk all night? Because if you are, I would rather leave, since I can't hear anything but your conversation." Then I get the staredown. They look at each other, and then stare at me, and then continue right on with their loudmouths. This is usually when my hearing deficit gets even worse, and somehow manages to overamplify the conversation I didn't want to hear to begin with. They go on and on and on, I can repeat the whole conversation. Now their friends come in, and the talking gets louder and with more people. Fifteen more minutes go by, and the only thing I hear is the conversation of now 7 people sitting behind me. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Now what I don't understand, is why do these nimrods bother showing up for stuff? You know the kind, the ones who when you are at the movies, talk and converse loudly throughout the whole movie. You go to church, and they sit behind you discussing their past week, obviously not paying attention to anything the pastor has to say. You go to a meeting at work, and the loudmouths sit behind everyone, talking about whatever bullshit they feel is more important than what the meeting organizer had planned for people to listen to. I just don't have the patience anymore to sit quietly by and not say anything to their rudeness. If it were legal and I thought I could get away with it, I'd shove them on their ass, or do something that would quickly make them realize that I am pissed off and really don't want to hear their stupid conversation. I wish the seats at public events had little shock buttons, that if someone was being obnoxious, you could push a button and send a shockwave right through to their spine. You would think they would feel shamed when someone calls them on their rudeness, but that is never the case. They are typical narcissistic people who truly believe the world wants to know about their life. Anyhow, thats my gripe of the day. I finally just left and drove home before I turned around and smacked the biggest loudmouth right in the face.