After spending quite a few days out in public over the holidays, I've run into a few of my old favorite pet peeves. The things that people do in public that just make you wanna go crazy and say some stuff, you know you don't really have any right to say.
One of my least favorite things about being in crowded public places is the fact that so many people don't know how to get to hell out of the way. They are in the middle of a large walkway, but decide to stop on a dime, for no apparent reason, or perhaps to do something like just stand there and talk to whoever it is they are with, or better yet, to someone on their cell.
I went to Disney over the holidays, first with my daughter, and then with my friend from Texas and her adult son. With my daughter and I, we were just walking along, in a New York walking pace, trying to get through the crowds. With my friend, I was pushing her in a wheelchair through the crowds. Notoriously, people would stop dead in front of me and just stand there. First thing in the morning, my tolerance for their ignorance is pretty good. I have been known to say, "excuse me, excuse me, ummm excuse me" a number of times and then smile as I push my way through them. By the end of the day, I have zero tolerance. I limit myself to one very loud and New Yorkerese "EXCUSEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEE" at which point if they don't immediately move, I have no qualms about taking a baby stroller or a grocery cart, or a wheelchair and just ramming it into their heels as sharply as I can. I feel zero remorse or guilt. I don't care if they are five years old or fifty five years old. My children have told me I am mean as did my friends son. I admit it, I don't care. I really don't give a shit if I rip the skin off their heels. My belief is that if you are going to be in front of people and you need to stop, for any reason, then move to hell out of the way. I could not believe the people who walked right in front of my friends wheelchair to hurry up and get in front of her, just as I couldn't believe the people who when she was walking with her cane, hurried up to get in front of her, not caring if they knocked her down or not. It happens all of the time when I have my granddaughter in a stroller in the mall or the airport, anyplace public. I guess the nimrods don't realize the force of forward motion when someone jumps in front of them and comes to a complete halt. Matter doesn't stop on a dime, but apparently these people have never heard of or understand inertia. So in my sick little mind, if I am going to run into them anyhow, I may as well give a little extra umph, and push whatever I am commandering into them with a little extra force.
I must have gotten the ankles of at least ten unruly children whose parents were in outer space over the last two days. Which brings me to my second pet peeve: retarded parents who should not be breeding.
At one of the attractions, my friend and I were looking at the couple in front of us. Mom appeared to be mostly normal. Dad was definitely a chromosomal aberration of some sort. The three boys with them apparently received more of dads genetics than moms. They just had that "look" that most neonatal nurses are familiar with. We used to call it the 5P look. The piss-poor-protoplasm-poorly-put together. The kids who are born and we all know there's an extra allele or something or maybe Mom and Dad are relative, if you catch my drift. One of the boys of this family kept running around stepping on people, bumping into people, bumping into the walls, etc. At one point, he runs head on into the wall and strikes his forehead into a metal ornament on the wall, actually hard enough he could have spliced his forehead open. The parents never noticed. The kid staggers, trying to fight tears, holding the skin on his forehead together, looking like he probably had a pretty good concussion. Mom and Dad are looking around the walkway not paying attention to any of the kids. We next go up some stairs, which has a door blocking the downstairs, and chains and other items apparently set to block anyone from trying to go down the stairs or look over the banister. The same boy who hit his head, wants to look over the banister. So Dad the dumbass lifts him up, and hoists him over the barrier so he can look over and see whatever may be down there, that he apparently thought was worth the risk of killing his son should he drop him. Just amazing. As a former pediatric nurse, I know the kind of parent all to well. We used to deal with parents like this all the time, as we would shake our heads in disbelief at how stupid some people are.
My third pet peeve came around lunch time. At any of these amusement parks, its always the same thing. A bunch of little expensive food stands, selling burgers, fries, an occasional salad, different kinds of ice cream treats, and your stand bottles of water and soda. And why are the lines so long?????? Because dumb ass one and two at the head of the line can't make up their minds. The ones who could read the menu from fifty feet back in line and had 20 minutes or so to make up their minds before they ever hit the cashier, but no, they can't decide. Like all of a sudden the menu from Red Lobster is going to show up and they really will have a choice of more than a burger, hot dog and fries. THATS ALL THEY HAVE FOLKS. It's the menu for yesterday, its the menu for today and when you come back to Disney ten years from now, it will still be the menu. And if you havent' been able to make up your mind after 30 minutes in the line, go to the back of the line and let the next person order their food. These must be the same rejects who go to Mickey Dees or Burger King and sit there at the window for ten to fifteen minutes perusing the menu. Can anyone in america really not know the entire menu at a mcdonalds in this day and age? Kids may not know how to write their address, but they all know everything on the menu at mcdonalds.
My last pet peeve is probably my biggest, and that is people who bring small children to these large amusement parks, Disney, Universal Studios, Seaworld etc. None of these parks is for small children, none of them. Sorry Walt, but even magic kingdom is no place for a two year old to spend more than one to two hours. I typically feel zero pity for children, but this is one of my exceptions. These poor little babies do not need to spend 8-15 hours strapped in a stroller, in the hot sun, being pushed around an amusement park like they are. If you stood near the exits when people are leaving, you'll see all these pathetic little toddlers, strapped into strollers, almost always sunburned, crying or screaming. They are exhausted. So the parents have just spent a small fortune dragging these poor kids through this. For a family of four, its now over $300 a day to get in the park and get something to eat for one meal. Most of the day is spent waiting in long lines for rides, or in the bathroom line waiting to have a diaper changed. The rest of the time is spent passing out in the stroller from exhaustion, or waiting in a food line behind the retards who cant' decide between a cheeseburger or a chicken leg.
I want to conduct a study one day whereby people are photographed and interviewed at their entrance to the park, and then photographed and interviewed when they exit. The study needs to include all the money they spent for the day so when the results are tallied you can send the parents a report showing how much they paid to take their kid home at the end of the night screaming with "pleasure".
One of my least favorite things about being in crowded public places is the fact that so many people don't know how to get to hell out of the way. They are in the middle of a large walkway, but decide to stop on a dime, for no apparent reason, or perhaps to do something like just stand there and talk to whoever it is they are with, or better yet, to someone on their cell.
I went to Disney over the holidays, first with my daughter, and then with my friend from Texas and her adult son. With my daughter and I, we were just walking along, in a New York walking pace, trying to get through the crowds. With my friend, I was pushing her in a wheelchair through the crowds. Notoriously, people would stop dead in front of me and just stand there. First thing in the morning, my tolerance for their ignorance is pretty good. I have been known to say, "excuse me, excuse me, ummm excuse me" a number of times and then smile as I push my way through them. By the end of the day, I have zero tolerance. I limit myself to one very loud and New Yorkerese "EXCUSEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEE" at which point if they don't immediately move, I have no qualms about taking a baby stroller or a grocery cart, or a wheelchair and just ramming it into their heels as sharply as I can. I feel zero remorse or guilt. I don't care if they are five years old or fifty five years old. My children have told me I am mean as did my friends son. I admit it, I don't care. I really don't give a shit if I rip the skin off their heels. My belief is that if you are going to be in front of people and you need to stop, for any reason, then move to hell out of the way. I could not believe the people who walked right in front of my friends wheelchair to hurry up and get in front of her, just as I couldn't believe the people who when she was walking with her cane, hurried up to get in front of her, not caring if they knocked her down or not. It happens all of the time when I have my granddaughter in a stroller in the mall or the airport, anyplace public. I guess the nimrods don't realize the force of forward motion when someone jumps in front of them and comes to a complete halt. Matter doesn't stop on a dime, but apparently these people have never heard of or understand inertia. So in my sick little mind, if I am going to run into them anyhow, I may as well give a little extra umph, and push whatever I am commandering into them with a little extra force.
I must have gotten the ankles of at least ten unruly children whose parents were in outer space over the last two days. Which brings me to my second pet peeve: retarded parents who should not be breeding.
At one of the attractions, my friend and I were looking at the couple in front of us. Mom appeared to be mostly normal. Dad was definitely a chromosomal aberration of some sort. The three boys with them apparently received more of dads genetics than moms. They just had that "look" that most neonatal nurses are familiar with. We used to call it the 5P look. The piss-poor-protoplasm-poorly-put together. The kids who are born and we all know there's an extra allele or something or maybe Mom and Dad are relative, if you catch my drift. One of the boys of this family kept running around stepping on people, bumping into people, bumping into the walls, etc. At one point, he runs head on into the wall and strikes his forehead into a metal ornament on the wall, actually hard enough he could have spliced his forehead open. The parents never noticed. The kid staggers, trying to fight tears, holding the skin on his forehead together, looking like he probably had a pretty good concussion. Mom and Dad are looking around the walkway not paying attention to any of the kids. We next go up some stairs, which has a door blocking the downstairs, and chains and other items apparently set to block anyone from trying to go down the stairs or look over the banister. The same boy who hit his head, wants to look over the banister. So Dad the dumbass lifts him up, and hoists him over the barrier so he can look over and see whatever may be down there, that he apparently thought was worth the risk of killing his son should he drop him. Just amazing. As a former pediatric nurse, I know the kind of parent all to well. We used to deal with parents like this all the time, as we would shake our heads in disbelief at how stupid some people are.
My third pet peeve came around lunch time. At any of these amusement parks, its always the same thing. A bunch of little expensive food stands, selling burgers, fries, an occasional salad, different kinds of ice cream treats, and your stand bottles of water and soda. And why are the lines so long?????? Because dumb ass one and two at the head of the line can't make up their minds. The ones who could read the menu from fifty feet back in line and had 20 minutes or so to make up their minds before they ever hit the cashier, but no, they can't decide. Like all of a sudden the menu from Red Lobster is going to show up and they really will have a choice of more than a burger, hot dog and fries. THATS ALL THEY HAVE FOLKS. It's the menu for yesterday, its the menu for today and when you come back to Disney ten years from now, it will still be the menu. And if you havent' been able to make up your mind after 30 minutes in the line, go to the back of the line and let the next person order their food. These must be the same rejects who go to Mickey Dees or Burger King and sit there at the window for ten to fifteen minutes perusing the menu. Can anyone in america really not know the entire menu at a mcdonalds in this day and age? Kids may not know how to write their address, but they all know everything on the menu at mcdonalds.
My last pet peeve is probably my biggest, and that is people who bring small children to these large amusement parks, Disney, Universal Studios, Seaworld etc. None of these parks is for small children, none of them. Sorry Walt, but even magic kingdom is no place for a two year old to spend more than one to two hours. I typically feel zero pity for children, but this is one of my exceptions. These poor little babies do not need to spend 8-15 hours strapped in a stroller, in the hot sun, being pushed around an amusement park like they are. If you stood near the exits when people are leaving, you'll see all these pathetic little toddlers, strapped into strollers, almost always sunburned, crying or screaming. They are exhausted. So the parents have just spent a small fortune dragging these poor kids through this. For a family of four, its now over $300 a day to get in the park and get something to eat for one meal. Most of the day is spent waiting in long lines for rides, or in the bathroom line waiting to have a diaper changed. The rest of the time is spent passing out in the stroller from exhaustion, or waiting in a food line behind the retards who cant' decide between a cheeseburger or a chicken leg.
I want to conduct a study one day whereby people are photographed and interviewed at their entrance to the park, and then photographed and interviewed when they exit. The study needs to include all the money they spent for the day so when the results are tallied you can send the parents a report showing how much they paid to take their kid home at the end of the night screaming with "pleasure".
4 comments:
Maybe you shouldn't go to amusement parks anymore. ;) Did Baylor have a night they rented out Six Flags? That's what you need, a visit when the gene pool has been sifted a bit.
I like to go and watch people. I want to write a book one day on the weirdo's you see in public. I guess I just shouldn't go if I am pushing a stroller or a wheelchair. Maybe I can get a research grant studying people who go to theme parks. I dont' remember Baylor renting out a Six Flags, but my memory of things from that decade is pretty much shot.
Well Feebs, you gave me a much needed laugh for the day on your pet peeves post. LOL..And what a terrific idea, to take before and after park pics.. haha..I know what I would look like, even in the before. Pure dread on my face. You should write articles for a newspaper. Cause you were so intertaining, yet it was all so true. Hey, start a pet peeve column. I bet that would be sooooo funny!!! Love ya
Linda
I started this blog for my own therapy. I figure, why pay a therapist a bunch of money and have to miss work just to vent. I can get all my angst out here by pounding the keyboard. You see a therapist and talk and all they do is document, "patient is mildly paranoid, obviously depressed and should be on medication. CPS referral may be warranted."
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