Joy Robbers and Energy Stealers

I have been trying to be in a better mood, be more optimistic. However, I've been giving the joy robbers in my life too much power. The kind of people that just suck the like out of anything you do. You find them on the job, amongst friends, amongst family members, at the places of business you visit, everywhere.

I went to Goodwill on the way home today, a different one from the usual one I go to, where I have been writing checks for years. The cashier was a young snippy little thing who told me I could not write a check there since my drivers license isn't from NC. I told her it doesn't matter, as long as the bank account is NC and the policy is posted on their walls, as it is posted on all of the walls in Goodwill. She told me she would get the manager, but she "knew" they weren't going to take it. I wait, because I really wanted the bowl set I found in there and after fifteen minutes, yes apparently I was correct and they can take a check after all. Its' so frustrating. And it wasn't just her telling me I couldn't, it was the whole attitude of treating me like I was inferior. arghhhh. But I let her rob my joy. I fretted and stewed over it and finally got in the car with my stuff and was so tense driving, my muscles started to ache.

So I am going to make an active vow, to eliminate as many joy robbers as I possibly can. I can go to work and keep my door shut. Do my own thing at lunch time, and don't talk to anyone about what is going on in my life, that way I dont have to be criticized for not making the decision someone else thinks I should make. Let's see how far I get

the Weiner scandal

Okay, one news item: the Weiner scandal. I wish they would leave this poor shmuck alone. He was stupid enough to take picts of his weiner and send them out from his telephone. He has already gotten what he deserves, public humiliation. It makes me laugh, thinking how people are so upset, demanding he step down from his position as congressman in NY. His constituents want him, apparently he does his job. I just wonder what he thought was going on, on the other end of the telephone, by the person who received it. Knowing women, I would bet the bank that whoever received it laughed when they saw it. No matter what it looks like, I bet she laughed. And then she probably showed a bunch of her friends, who also laughed. What else could the response have been? Is it possible to be turned on by a telephone picture of some guys dick? shaking my head, all I would do is snicker if some guy sent me a picture of himself. As a nurse, I have seen thousands of penises and maybe I am just de-sensitized, but I guarantee you if I had seen it and thought about a guy going through the trouble of dropping his pants to take a pict............... nothing but total laughter comes to mind.

another day in the neighborhood

geez its been a long time!!! let me see, what has happened.........

well tracy is still driving me nuts and despite my threats to send him to the frozen tundra (nebraska) he just didn't believe I would follow through. I guess I don't fault him, as he has only known me about 15 years and 10 months. I may be slow to follow through, but sooner or later I get er done.

So when January rolled around and his grades were still in the toilet and I didn't know where he was spending his time while I slaved away at work, I purchased a one way ticket to Omaha for him to stay with the Galloways. They used to be the "Galloways" of Iowa, known for being the only black family in Iowa. I know, because I drove the state several times and all I ever saw were white people, and fields of corn. but the Galloways moved to Nebraska, where Mr. Galloway is a teacher.

He is responsible for the class of kids otherwise known as "future felons" or "future janitors and McDonald's cooks" because these are the kids who just don't listen. They want to screw off all day and torment teachers, and really believe they don't have to be responsible for their actions. One step away from being arrested.

So tracy went to stay with them, and lo and behold, we discovered, that Tracy can actually (a) read (b) do homework, and (c) do as he is told. In one short semester he brought his grades up high enough I think to be on the honor roll. He did his homework on time, even if it meant getting up and doing homework on a saturday morning at 7 am (" because Johnny said I can't go anywhere unless its done." I could threaten him with grave consequences and he would smile and lie through his teeth that he had it done. So since he did so well the last five months, I was gracious enough to let him come home for the summer, figuring he has learned his lesson. (yes, I still have multiple episodes of stupidity).

Since he has been home we have had to clarify the rules on a daily basis and go through definitions of common terms again. "Clean the house" means exactly that, clean your room, the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, and do laundry." "staying on our block" means staying on our specific street, which is only one block long-it doesn't mean going down to some apartments three or four blocks away and hiding out at their pool. "being home by 7 pm, regardless of any other circumstance" means just that, have your ass in the house by 7 pm. But Tracy apparently has mental confusion whilst living in NC because he is back to his old tricks, and there are current plans underway to send his hiney right back to Omaha.

hmmm, what else? well the military dude and I are planning on moving in together, with our combined sons, dogs and cats. If Tracy is allowed to stay, we will have a 16 year old, a 19 year old, a 21 year old, two old dogs (that would be Bill and I), two old canines, and three cats. Its a test to see if we will kill our kids, our pets, or each other. If we manage to go six months without any of the above occurring, the other option will be on the table. so now the issue is just finding a place. Been looking all over Cary (to get tracy out of current school district) and get his sons closer to their mom and gramma, and bill closer to his brother and sister. Now the catch is finding a house that is big enough, that has a fence, that will allow pets, that is affordable, which won't care that I have a house under foreclosure in Orlando. Time is running out and there are plans in the making to put our stuff in storage and sleep under the trees if necessary. Time to be thankful North Carolina has a lot of forestry :)

I'm in a new position now, legal nurse consultant. Fancy term for meaning I read medical records from patients to see if they have suffered due to malpractice, in a significant way that is worth pursuing it in court. I have been happy to discover that 99% of the cases we get are not malpractice, just poor health. And the cases that actually appear to be neglect, almost zero from nursing. I have gained more respect for nursing, but lost respect for some physicians. I have known of three or four bad docs at a couple institutions, but I didn't realize how stupid some doctors really are. Because of confidentiality, I can't say specifics, but I know for sure, I will never ever undergo a laparascopic cholecystectomy no matter who does the surgery, nor will I ever have back surgery. screw that shit. If they need my gallbladder, just cut my belly wide open and take a good look around at everything that is there and hold it up in the air to see what you are really cutting. For my back? I'll eat pain pills until I die before I would ever let someone put a scalpel through my spine.

still have my old doggies and "the cat" faithfully by my side. My old brownie has a bad back and is having a hard time getting around these days. It appears that the only time his back isnt' hurting is if there are cookies, pizza or some other goodie left on the kitchen counters. All of his muscles and bones work magically to retrieve these items if necessary. I've had it out with the vet over appropriate meds for him, but thats another story for another day that I should title "Losing my mind and the people I have yelled at over the past two months". Mocha the cat is now friends with Lobo and they play together, although they pretend they don't. If they see me watching, they look the opposite way, because I am not supposed to know they get along.

well thats enough for tonight, let's see how long my promise to post regularly lasts :)

Being lost after "Lost" and now being found :)

I started off as a die-hard fan of the TV series Lost. I remember watching and then re-watching every episode the first couple seasons trying to figure out any clues that I missed. Somewhere around Season four, life got busy and I have just kind of followed along. I ended up missing most of last season, or watched it sporadically, since I don't remember much about it.

I saved all of this season on my DVR and watched the season on Saturday, all ready to see the finale Sunday evening. Initially, I felt about as lost as the passengers on Oceanic 815. Then I thought about what my interpretation of the show is or was and here is what I have come up with so far (I may change my views once I re-watch the series):

I believe that they were all dead, except possibly Hurley, Desmond and Ben. The three of them were the only ones who knew the purpose of meeting at the church. Just as Jacob had time travelled back and forth from the island, perhaps these three could as well. Ben may still be alive, Hurley may still be protecting the island and Desmond may live on forever. Hurley could have given that gift to Desmond, as the gift was given to Richard. Or Ben may be dead but not ready to "move on yet."

I believe everyone else either died in the manner they were shown, or died after leaving the island, and all at different times. I believe the only ones who made it off the island were Kate, Sawyer, Sayid, Claire, Miles and Lapidus. I felt all along that each of them were brought to the island for redemption, they were all flawed.

I believe the Oceanic 6 did all initially get off the island and then returned to the island. I think they were given a second chance at redemption. They had to go back to the island, because they initially left the island still flawed: they all lied about the plane crash and rescue, and went on to lives in which they were all still seeking something.

I think for each of them, their redemption came after they returned to the island, and then died. they all had a period in the afterlife, where they lived the life they wanted and all dreams came true: Jack having a son; Sawyer being a cop and finding Juliet; Juliet being the OB doctor who met back up with Sawyer; Sun and Jin being together with their baby, Claire and Charlie being together with Aaron, Kate and Sayid being rescued from being in prison and meeting back up with those they loved, etc.

I don't think they were meeting at the church just for Jack, but for each of them to receive redemption, and let go. I believe the empty casket was a message for all of them, that although they may have experienced death, they do live on. I think their meeting together was a celebration, for all of them to rejoice in realizing that their spirit does continue on.

So I think some of the messages the writers wanted to convey with "Lost" is that 1) everyone gets a second chance. 2) there is a powerful force in the universe where good versus bad, dark versus light and right versus wrong does exist and its a struggle every day for all of us to balance these forces, 3) dreams can and do eventually come true, 4) we need to let the past go, and not worry about the future because the only thing that matters is the right now, 5) redemption exists , and lastly 6) our spirits do continue on

Two Dogs and a Cat

I found this picture of my pets on the computer. I wondered what they did when I am not around. When I get home, they are waiting by the door, pretending to have sat there all day just waiting for my arrival. Obviously, from the picture, that's a fallacy.

Brownie (the third) is black and white and a little overweight. Okay, more than a little overweight. But in his defense, he can't just go outside and run around the yard since there isn't any fence. And he can't turn away food, because there are dogs starving in Africa. He's actually my best friend and the most devoted friend I have. When I am home, he never leaves my side (unless someone else in the house has food, and then he has to guard the food, to make sure nothing gets thrown away; its his job). He's sitting here staring at me now because there is a plate with pie on it just sitting there, tormenting him. He has scared me half to death a few times in the middle of the night when I hear loud banging noises in the other room, only to find out he tried to climb on top of the table or counters to sneak food.

Lobo (the third) is my dark brown and super intelligent border collie. He is a proud graduate of the pet training program at petsmart, only he was then banned, because he had a silly little episode of trying to bite a small toddler. He really wasn't trying to be vicious and rip the kids arms off, I am sure he was just playing. He's like that. He can learn anything without treats, he just likes to please and will do anything to be petted. At nighttime, I can just say "it's time for bed" and he runs upstairs to climb into bed with Tracy. Sometimes he acts walks with his shoulders hanging down, acting like the teenager he rooms with, but he goes up the stairs. Occasionally in the middle of the night, I will hear a little tip toeing going on and will notice him wrapped in a ball on some pillows on my bedroom floor. He is a barker in the car, the one thing I haven't been able to get him to stop. If I take them for a ride and go in a store, when I come out, he has been barking the whole time, his tongue hanging out. The only thing he appears to be afraid of is one tiny little cat, name Mocha.

Mocha, otherwise known as Jamocha Frappuchino Roe Boufeaux, came to live with us last year after it was discovered that my granddaughter was allergic to cats. She was my daughter's cat and a very spoiled cat. She is tiny for a cat. I am used to big fat country cats. But she is a tiny little thing, but has a great big voice. She talks all the time, and insists on being petted and having attention. One of her favorite things to do is wait until I am running late for work in the morning and just as I go out the door, she sneaks past me and races for the trees. She loves to have me worry all day whether she is dead or alive. Around 11 pm she will come screaming at the door to let her in. Another of her favorite games is to torment my dog Lobo. She loves Brownie and will kiss him and lay on him and play with him, but for some reason, she likes to make Lobo cry. She will purposely lay across the doorway of a room I am in just to make sure he won't pass by. He won't even look at her. I've tried to explain to him that he is more than 20 pounds heavier, is three feet taller and has more teeth, but he won't listen. Apparently he's smart enough to know that her little claws can tear his eyes out if she wanted to.

I don't know what I would do without the three of them. I know my dogs love me unconditionally. I am pretty sure Mocha is willing to tolerate me and share the house on an equal basis. I fear that when I am older and the kids are all gone, I am going to end up being the cat/dog lady. You know every neighborhood has one, the old person who just collects pets. the person that strangers drop off litters of cats in front of their house, knowing they will take them in. The kind that picks up stray dogs and lets them come in "just for the night".

Okay Brownie and Bo, it's time for bed. Mocha, let me show you something out in the garage :) g'night

Teenagers, how they dress and personal hygiene

If my son could have his way, this is a close representation of how he wants his hair. I gave him the option of not cutting his hair, as long as he combed or picked it out on a daily basis, but he went over a week at a time without combing it, so I cut it this week. You would have thought the world had ended.

This is a touchy topic for many parents of teenagers. It's not a new topic for me, it's one I have dealt with for over 15 years now. Where do you draw the line between allowing children to express themselves versus making sure what they wear is appropriate?

Some would argue that teenagers are old enough to make the decision on what to wear and how often to take a bath, but looking around at youth today I don't think that's true. As a parent, I am still ultimately accountable and responsible for my children. So I do have the right to tell my daughter, you can't wear clothes that show your breasts or butt cheeks hanging out and I can tell my sons they aren't going to wear anything that shows a butt crack or pants that fall off the hip tied on with shoestrings.

Its the same thing about personal hygiene. If most toddlers had their way, they would never take a bath, have their hair combed or brush their teeth, but we don't let toddlers get away with "having their way" because they are just kids and they don't know any better. I don't believe that maturity automatically shows up by virtue of a given birthday. If you have to be told to take a bath because you smell or to comb your hair because it looks like a dust mop, you aren't mature.

All children, regardless of age need to be taught matters of personal hygiene, i.e.: taking a bath daily, brushing their teeth, and combing their hair. Our bodies are constantly shedding dead skin cells and the those dead cells are abundant with bacteria, viruses, and other microscopic organisms. Those critters don't just fall off our bodies as we shed our dead cells. They must be washed off, and combed off, on a daily basis.

While letting a child express themselves is important to a child's comfort with themselves, and strengthens their ego's, it doesn't overrule the obligation to be sanitary in caring for our bodies. Personal hygiene is not optional, its a requirement for everyday living. I find it disgusting for anyone to go weeks and months without ever putting a brush or comb through their head. If you've ever had to sit with a 16 year old girl who hasn't combed her hair through for months and found one big mass of matted hair, you'll understand how heart wrenching it is to continue sitting there with your arms around them as they cry on your shoulder, because at that point, there is no "cure" for matted hair except to cut it off.

My children can try to convince me I don't care or that I am being mean, or try to guilt me into letting them have their way, but it's my job as their parent to do what is best for them despite all of their accusations. Do they think I enjoy arguing every day over clothing and hygiene? There's a million other things I would rather be doing, but since I am the only "parent" and only "adult" in this house, I don't get to take a break from my responsibility.

Not to mention, what about my feelings as a parent? Should "my" feelings count? Should whats important to "me" matter to anyone? Or do I no longer matter??? It appears to be the case around here.

A few weeks ago at a football game for my son, I was standing on the sidelines when I overheard a group of about 6-7 teenage girls discussing my son, and how "ugly" he was, because of his refusal to comb his hair. I felt like crying, for both of us. Over the past month, I have had friends, co-workers, cashiers at the store, and other people as they go by comment about my son's hair, about how he needs a haircut. For my son to go out in public resembling a homeless person who can't afford shampoo and a hairbrush, it makes me look bad.

The same thing about when he wears pants out in public that show his butt crack and are tied together around his hips with a shoestring. It is a reflection of me and how I raised him. It is not appropriate. I don't care what color he wears, and I don't care what type of shirt or pants he wears, as long as its decent. No shirts with foul language. No pants so low you can his nether region or "hairline". No pants with holes large enough to see underwear through.

I have visions of teacher's writing notes about my son saying things like, "child comes to school every day with dirty clothes and unkempt hair." That's the kind of stuff I don't need to be dealing with. If anyone questions his appearance, I am the one going to get judged and rebuked, not him.

Are my rules stifling his "style"? Well if they are, too bad. The sooner he learns that there are acceptable rules of social behavior the better. When he goes into the working world, he isn't going to be going to work looking like a bum, no one is going to hire him. There will be dress codes and the sooner he learns to comply the better.

The issues of personal hygiene are also for his benefit. Once a kid gets a reputation as a kid who "stinks" or is "dirty" or has "ratty" hair, its almost impossible to lose that reputation. I speak from experience. I was branded with a nickname in junior high school that stuck all the way past graduation. I was picked on and teased over my hair every single day. I know what its like to be ridiculed for having ubangee type hair and I don't want my son picked on because of his lack of personal hygiene.

It isnt just his hair, its the bathing issues, clean clothes issue, wearing his glasses or contacts, etc. Even animals in the wild groom themselves or they groom each other. The two dogs and one cat I live take better care of their hair than my son does.

Despite what people may think, what is important to me, also matters. I have feelings and as a parent, my feelings should be considered. I shouldn't have to be stressed every day, worrying about my kids and how they look or how they smell. I am not going to be one of those parents who allow their children to put tattoos all over their body, and piercings through their nostrils or nipples, or wear T-shirts with foul language or symbols.

Hopefully one day my son will forgive me for being a parent and doing things that are for his own good.