Strict Parents and Stupid Kids

I watched this show today on TV about Strict Parents and thought it was hilarious.  The setup is two teenage kids from different homes, who are causing mayhem in their homes, go live with a host family for about a week.  The kids show up with cigarettes in their pockets, nose rings, and gigantic attitudes about how no one is going to make them do anything.  They walk around strutting like little peacocks, insisting no one is ever going to make them do anything they don't feel they should have to do.

They show these kids in their own homes before they are carried off to the host family and you see the kids sitting in their filthy rooms with all kinds of expensive gadgets and clothes.  They all had laptops, cell phones, etc.  They all thought it was funny to yell at their parents and laugh at their parents and were happy in their gleeful disobedience.  All I kept thinking is what I would do (pack up everything that is on the floor and throw it away, period).  You could give their belongings to goodwill or the salvation army.  I wouldn't even bother to tell them.  Let them go out of the house and while they are gone, just pack their crap up and give it away and don't bother answering them when they ask where it is.

The electronic stuff? laptops? cell phones????? hell no!!!!!!!  And how are they getting cigarettes?  None of these kids were working and none were old enough to purchase cigarettes.  I bet they all had an allowance, even though none of them did any kind of chores and treated their parents like crap. They wouldn't be getting a dime, including lunch money. 

So they get to the host family and the first two head off to this family who lives on a farm.  The father is built like the Hulk and the mother looks pretty stern (reminding me of an older sister or two of my own at times growing up).  This family's punishment is to carry this water filled pole that looks to be about 6 or 7 feet in length, around the farm when they misbehave.  If they are rude, they carry the pole around the perimeter.  If they don't do as they are asked, they carry the pole again. The longer they keep up the negative attitude and bad behavior, the more they trot around the yard carrying the pole. At one point they refuse to carry the pole and the father takes each of them and sticks them in a middle of a field, in the hot sun, to sit and think about their behavior.  He won't let them come back to the house until they agree to carry said pole the amount of times they were told they had to. 

As they sit there, separately, neither one of them are going to do this stuff, no way.  I laughed watching these two spoiled bratty teenagers sitting in time out.  The teenage girl was the first to cave, after about two hours of sitting in the hot sun.  She carried that pole and decided it would behoove her to do the chores asked of her.  The boy lasted a little longer and decided it was a "stupid rule" but he would do it.  They are then asked to help build a pig pen for a new pig coming to the farm.  They have to do manual labor, dig holes, put the poles in the ground and help staple the fence on it.  While they claimed earlier they were never going to do that, they both managed to do exactly what the host parents expected them to do.

At the end of the week,  each kid gets a letter from his mother and they quickly realize maybe life with their parent is not so bad after all, and they begin to realize how awful they have been to their parents.

The next show featured even brattier kids, including a tall, tanned prima donna who "knew" she was beautiful and loved to report how she could make her mother do anything she wanted.  She talked to her mother like a piece of shit, no other way to describe it.  The boy came with wild hair, nose rings, cigarettes, and pants hanging off his rear end.  His room looked worse than a couple of my kids used to look.  Again, both had laptop computers, cell phones, cigarettes and the girl had been sneaking booze into her room. 

They went to a different host family.  I liked the first family, the farm ones better.  But there was something about this host mother that made me laugh.  I swear I saw a little of the devil in her eyes when she pulled out her notebook of "punishments" for naughty children.  The first night, the teenage boy declared he had to be taken home because these people were crazy and long after his concerns and tears were ignored he decided he may as well help out.  The girl did a crappy job with her assigned chores and smiled as she thought she got away with being lazy.  The host mother's punishment?  she pulled out a bowl of little round dots (like the kind left over in a hole puncher) and she threw them all over the rug.  the girl had to go down the stairs and pick up the dots one by one and carry them up the stairs and go down and get another one (she could only take one dot up each flight of stairs).  By the time she got to about the tenth dot, she threw herself on the floor feigning an asthma attack and demanding to be taken to the hospital. 

I admit, I was sadistically laughing at this very spoiled teenage girl throwing a temper tantrum as if she were a two year old.  The host mother had a little glee in her eyes and I think I knew what she was feeling.

I have had a few teenagers in my home throw little temper tantrums.  One of my favorite things is when they go to stomp up the stairs and in their anger, trip and fall on their face going up.  I remember making my youngest go back down and up the stairs stomping his feet as hard as he could, at least ten more times so he could get it out of his system.  If he didn't stomp hard enough, I made him go again and I laughed every time he fell.  I have also made him practice going up the stairs as softly as he could, making him go back up and down if I could hear a single step.  And for everytime he spoke a word, he had to start over.  It still makes me laugh thinking about how mad he got at me and I really don't give a rat's ass. 

I remember my two oldest fighting and we used to make them sit on the couch and hug each other.  We would make them embrace and hold each other.  We may even have tied them together with a rope, I don't remember.  I just remember laughing at how angry it made them that I would force them to sit and touch each other.  I remember them saying they would rather die than sit next to each other.

There are lots of genius ways to get back at your kids for driving you nuts.  I dont' remember which kid, but one of mine wanted to dress crazy and go to school so I went one day in my pajamas and showed up at their school with my hair umcombed and no bra, with ragged pj's on and asked permission from the office to go to their classroom.  I remember walking down that hall and laughing and watching them be embarrassed. 

With my youngest, he loves to volunteer me to give his friends rides everywhere, even though I am a single mom and can't really afford the extra gas.  So when they get in the car, I sing, loudly, and believe me, I can't sing.  I usually play a Davis Cassidy song or something else from the 1970's and sing my heart out.  And I insist they sing along.  "but mom all of my friends are going to think you are crazy???"  gee, really? maybe they won't want to ride with me anymore and call their own parents to take them home.

Does anyone have a conscience anymore?

Haven't posted in awhile.  Once again I will make a vow to try and write on a regular basis.  


Been sitting here reading about and thinking about the Penn State scandal, just wondering how could things like this go on for so long with no one going to the police?  I will never understand why people refuse to open their mouths and stand up for what is wrong and to denounce what is wrong.  It does no good to hide behind closed doors and pretend the evildoers will just heal themselves.


If someone back in the 1990's had reported Jerry Sandusky to the point of him getting his sorry ass put in a federal penitentiary, who knows how many young men could have been saved the horrible sexual abuse they sustained because of him?  


The janitors at the facility had a meeting the night the one janitor saw him having oral sex with a kid about ten. That janitor was extremely distraught and they thought he might have a heart attack, but the group of janitors met and none of them made the decision to report this, because they feared losing their jobs.  How about losing their souls?  If I have to choose between saving a child's life or losing my job, chuck the job, it's a child for cripes sake.


The others at Penn State who saw inappropriate behavior, including him actually having sex with a ten year old boy, none of them made sure the police were contacted, or the kids parents, or social welfare authorities.  Did they really think the political beings at the school would take care of that child's needs and make sure he was safe?  I can only imagine, we'll probably hear in the weeks to come how someone was paid off.  The prosecuting DA or investigator disappeared in 2005 and has now been declared legally dead.  I wonder if he is living in south america or some other place, paid off, or if he was ""retired" by some of those rich benefactors of the Second Mile club"

I'm just so disgusted at the apathy of the common man.  Does anyone have a conscience anymore?

We Haven't Killed Each Other, yet.........

It's been over a month, and we are still all alive. It's been a really long time since I have lived with someone else. Living with your kids is one thing, but living with another unrelated adult and someone elses kids is completely different. Sometimes I look over and it feels so wonderful to have someone there next to me. Other times, I look over, and well, I just feel like puking. Ughhhhhhhhh, I need to hide!

The animal situation has been a little crazy, but things are settling down. Total count is one goldfish, (recently moved into a larger body of water), two border collies (with a LOT less running room who no longer like to go outdoors), and three cats (one - my princess) (two of his - one feral cat, one older cat). I rarely see his one cat. He hides upstairs and occasionally comes down stairs to take a peek and then makes a mad dash upstairs to the third floor. It's funny to see this cat, who lived most of his life outdoors fighting off whatever lays beyond the bushes and tall grasses, but yet is afraid of me, my son, the other cat who is one fourth his size, and the two dogs. He needs to understand both dogs are deathly afraid of him. They lived during the reign of Catherine the great. The great gray furrball who ruled our house for about six years. Her favorite past time was to lay across any doorway she knew the dogs wanted to cross, just so she could torment them. They wouldn't dare cross her path.

My cat, Jamocha Frappuchino Roe Boufeaux, aka "Mocha" tried to pretend that she didn't really like the dogs, but that didn't last long. She realized how much fun they were to have around and she loves playing tag way too much to do that hissing thing.

Living with someone elses children is "different." I learned a long time ago from my friends on the stepwives board what rights I have and what rights I don't have and what to do if I want a lot of friction and what not to do if I want peace and tranquility. So I have been trying really hard to comply with the "what not to do's". I don't ask them to do chores. I don't ask them to clean their rooms. I don't ask them to go to bed at a decent hour. I just wait for their father to ask them. On most days, I go to sleep "waiting."

Living again with another adult in the house is challenging. I can't just do what I feel like anymore. If I don't want to watch what he is watching on TV, I have a choice, watch what he wants, speak up and risk an argument, or go to bed. Lately, I have been catching up on many years of missed sleep.

I wanted to watch the finale of the Glee Project tonight and before it came on, I was talking to my son about the musical Wicked, and "the other adult" made some snide comment about talking through the show that was on or something to the effect that I was being "rude." arghhhhh. I was excited to talk to my son about what I had read about Wicked, because neither of us have ever seen it and we just listened to the CD for the first time and are learning the story. My first instinct was to say "screw you" and keep on talking. BUT, I chose to just go to my room and watch my TV show alone, while he sulked on the couch. I actually enjoyed watching it by myself. Maybe after all these years of being on my own (almost 14 years now), I have finally learned to enjoy doing some things on my own, and don't need "another adult" here with me like I thought I did.

Then again, I know there are times when I definitely want another adult around. Just not right now.

Joy Robbers and Energy Stealers

I have been trying to be in a better mood, be more optimistic. However, I've been giving the joy robbers in my life too much power. The kind of people that just suck the like out of anything you do. You find them on the job, amongst friends, amongst family members, at the places of business you visit, everywhere.

I went to Goodwill on the way home today, a different one from the usual one I go to, where I have been writing checks for years. The cashier was a young snippy little thing who told me I could not write a check there since my drivers license isn't from NC. I told her it doesn't matter, as long as the bank account is NC and the policy is posted on their walls, as it is posted on all of the walls in Goodwill. She told me she would get the manager, but she "knew" they weren't going to take it. I wait, because I really wanted the bowl set I found in there and after fifteen minutes, yes apparently I was correct and they can take a check after all. Its' so frustrating. And it wasn't just her telling me I couldn't, it was the whole attitude of treating me like I was inferior. arghhhh. But I let her rob my joy. I fretted and stewed over it and finally got in the car with my stuff and was so tense driving, my muscles started to ache.

So I am going to make an active vow, to eliminate as many joy robbers as I possibly can. I can go to work and keep my door shut. Do my own thing at lunch time, and don't talk to anyone about what is going on in my life, that way I dont have to be criticized for not making the decision someone else thinks I should make. Let's see how far I get

the Weiner scandal

Okay, one news item: the Weiner scandal. I wish they would leave this poor shmuck alone. He was stupid enough to take picts of his weiner and send them out from his telephone. He has already gotten what he deserves, public humiliation. It makes me laugh, thinking how people are so upset, demanding he step down from his position as congressman in NY. His constituents want him, apparently he does his job. I just wonder what he thought was going on, on the other end of the telephone, by the person who received it. Knowing women, I would bet the bank that whoever received it laughed when they saw it. No matter what it looks like, I bet she laughed. And then she probably showed a bunch of her friends, who also laughed. What else could the response have been? Is it possible to be turned on by a telephone picture of some guys dick? shaking my head, all I would do is snicker if some guy sent me a picture of himself. As a nurse, I have seen thousands of penises and maybe I am just de-sensitized, but I guarantee you if I had seen it and thought about a guy going through the trouble of dropping his pants to take a pict............... nothing but total laughter comes to mind.

another day in the neighborhood

geez its been a long time!!! let me see, what has happened.........

well tracy is still driving me nuts and despite my threats to send him to the frozen tundra (nebraska) he just didn't believe I would follow through. I guess I don't fault him, as he has only known me about 15 years and 10 months. I may be slow to follow through, but sooner or later I get er done.

So when January rolled around and his grades were still in the toilet and I didn't know where he was spending his time while I slaved away at work, I purchased a one way ticket to Omaha for him to stay with the Galloways. They used to be the "Galloways" of Iowa, known for being the only black family in Iowa. I know, because I drove the state several times and all I ever saw were white people, and fields of corn. but the Galloways moved to Nebraska, where Mr. Galloway is a teacher.

He is responsible for the class of kids otherwise known as "future felons" or "future janitors and McDonald's cooks" because these are the kids who just don't listen. They want to screw off all day and torment teachers, and really believe they don't have to be responsible for their actions. One step away from being arrested.

So tracy went to stay with them, and lo and behold, we discovered, that Tracy can actually (a) read (b) do homework, and (c) do as he is told. In one short semester he brought his grades up high enough I think to be on the honor roll. He did his homework on time, even if it meant getting up and doing homework on a saturday morning at 7 am (" because Johnny said I can't go anywhere unless its done." I could threaten him with grave consequences and he would smile and lie through his teeth that he had it done. So since he did so well the last five months, I was gracious enough to let him come home for the summer, figuring he has learned his lesson. (yes, I still have multiple episodes of stupidity).

Since he has been home we have had to clarify the rules on a daily basis and go through definitions of common terms again. "Clean the house" means exactly that, clean your room, the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, and do laundry." "staying on our block" means staying on our specific street, which is only one block long-it doesn't mean going down to some apartments three or four blocks away and hiding out at their pool. "being home by 7 pm, regardless of any other circumstance" means just that, have your ass in the house by 7 pm. But Tracy apparently has mental confusion whilst living in NC because he is back to his old tricks, and there are current plans underway to send his hiney right back to Omaha.

hmmm, what else? well the military dude and I are planning on moving in together, with our combined sons, dogs and cats. If Tracy is allowed to stay, we will have a 16 year old, a 19 year old, a 21 year old, two old dogs (that would be Bill and I), two old canines, and three cats. Its a test to see if we will kill our kids, our pets, or each other. If we manage to go six months without any of the above occurring, the other option will be on the table. so now the issue is just finding a place. Been looking all over Cary (to get tracy out of current school district) and get his sons closer to their mom and gramma, and bill closer to his brother and sister. Now the catch is finding a house that is big enough, that has a fence, that will allow pets, that is affordable, which won't care that I have a house under foreclosure in Orlando. Time is running out and there are plans in the making to put our stuff in storage and sleep under the trees if necessary. Time to be thankful North Carolina has a lot of forestry :)

I'm in a new position now, legal nurse consultant. Fancy term for meaning I read medical records from patients to see if they have suffered due to malpractice, in a significant way that is worth pursuing it in court. I have been happy to discover that 99% of the cases we get are not malpractice, just poor health. And the cases that actually appear to be neglect, almost zero from nursing. I have gained more respect for nursing, but lost respect for some physicians. I have known of three or four bad docs at a couple institutions, but I didn't realize how stupid some doctors really are. Because of confidentiality, I can't say specifics, but I know for sure, I will never ever undergo a laparascopic cholecystectomy no matter who does the surgery, nor will I ever have back surgery. screw that shit. If they need my gallbladder, just cut my belly wide open and take a good look around at everything that is there and hold it up in the air to see what you are really cutting. For my back? I'll eat pain pills until I die before I would ever let someone put a scalpel through my spine.

still have my old doggies and "the cat" faithfully by my side. My old brownie has a bad back and is having a hard time getting around these days. It appears that the only time his back isnt' hurting is if there are cookies, pizza or some other goodie left on the kitchen counters. All of his muscles and bones work magically to retrieve these items if necessary. I've had it out with the vet over appropriate meds for him, but thats another story for another day that I should title "Losing my mind and the people I have yelled at over the past two months". Mocha the cat is now friends with Lobo and they play together, although they pretend they don't. If they see me watching, they look the opposite way, because I am not supposed to know they get along.

well thats enough for tonight, let's see how long my promise to post regularly lasts :)

Being lost after "Lost" and now being found :)

I started off as a die-hard fan of the TV series Lost. I remember watching and then re-watching every episode the first couple seasons trying to figure out any clues that I missed. Somewhere around Season four, life got busy and I have just kind of followed along. I ended up missing most of last season, or watched it sporadically, since I don't remember much about it.

I saved all of this season on my DVR and watched the season on Saturday, all ready to see the finale Sunday evening. Initially, I felt about as lost as the passengers on Oceanic 815. Then I thought about what my interpretation of the show is or was and here is what I have come up with so far (I may change my views once I re-watch the series):

I believe that they were all dead, except possibly Hurley, Desmond and Ben. The three of them were the only ones who knew the purpose of meeting at the church. Just as Jacob had time travelled back and forth from the island, perhaps these three could as well. Ben may still be alive, Hurley may still be protecting the island and Desmond may live on forever. Hurley could have given that gift to Desmond, as the gift was given to Richard. Or Ben may be dead but not ready to "move on yet."

I believe everyone else either died in the manner they were shown, or died after leaving the island, and all at different times. I believe the only ones who made it off the island were Kate, Sawyer, Sayid, Claire, Miles and Lapidus. I felt all along that each of them were brought to the island for redemption, they were all flawed.

I believe the Oceanic 6 did all initially get off the island and then returned to the island. I think they were given a second chance at redemption. They had to go back to the island, because they initially left the island still flawed: they all lied about the plane crash and rescue, and went on to lives in which they were all still seeking something.

I think for each of them, their redemption came after they returned to the island, and then died. they all had a period in the afterlife, where they lived the life they wanted and all dreams came true: Jack having a son; Sawyer being a cop and finding Juliet; Juliet being the OB doctor who met back up with Sawyer; Sun and Jin being together with their baby, Claire and Charlie being together with Aaron, Kate and Sayid being rescued from being in prison and meeting back up with those they loved, etc.

I don't think they were meeting at the church just for Jack, but for each of them to receive redemption, and let go. I believe the empty casket was a message for all of them, that although they may have experienced death, they do live on. I think their meeting together was a celebration, for all of them to rejoice in realizing that their spirit does continue on.

So I think some of the messages the writers wanted to convey with "Lost" is that 1) everyone gets a second chance. 2) there is a powerful force in the universe where good versus bad, dark versus light and right versus wrong does exist and its a struggle every day for all of us to balance these forces, 3) dreams can and do eventually come true, 4) we need to let the past go, and not worry about the future because the only thing that matters is the right now, 5) redemption exists , and lastly 6) our spirits do continue on